11/6/08

My marriage, interrupted.

Guy and I eloped last week on October 31. It was the five-year anniversary of the day our mortgage closed escrow. We've celebrated it as our anniversary ever since. This year, we decided to take the opportunity to make it official by getting married.

Then a few days later it was taken away. I certainly knew that that might happen, but it hurts more than I thought it would, and I'm a little surprised by that. In fact, I don't feel quite like myself right now, and I certainly don't feel like blogging about my garden.

I don't expect this feeling to last, but for the time being this is what's going on with me, and that's that.

24 comments:

Matthew said...

I am so sorry. My best to you and guy.

Laurene said...

I hear you. With all of the hoopla over Obama winning the election, gays in this nation have once again been denied their basic human rights. In CA, this was especially ironic as the Mormon church funded most of the efforts to ban gay marriages. Such good Christians! There's so little love in this world you would think that when someone finds it, society would encourage their union. I am upset & disgusted by this. My own beloved nephew is gay & I take this personally.

Delphine said...

What about planning it in Paris ?

Bacchus said...

I am so sorry. We had our 3rd wedding in September, now waiting to see where it stands. Tonight we marched down Market and wondered what would have happened had we all been this energized a month ago.

It was wonderful and sad at the same time.

My best to you both.

Les, Zone 8a said...

These may seem like empty words, but just remember what the two of you know is the truth - no matter if the "state" says differently. Keep fighting!

Christopher C. NC said...

Until you tell me otherwise, you and Guy are married.

Since Halloween is your anniversary and California is slower on the uptake than expected, you can call it the Ghost Marriage, a marriage of spirits. I can see ghosts.

weeder1 said...

First of all, Congratulations! Secondly don't let this Prop. 8 thing take away your joy! Eventually things will change for the better. Look! We just elected our first Black President!! Who would have believed that could/would happen even a few years ago?

Best wishes to you! Be happy!

Brent said...

I had wondered why the silence on the blog and feared that it was discouragement.

There's so many things I'm proud of that we did last Tuesday, but Prop 8 isn't one of them.

Rest assured that you have my sympathies on Prop 8 and my congratulations on your nuptials.

Gayle Madwin said...

You certainly have my condolences - I'm feeling the same way.

Abigail Rose said...

My heart goes out to you and Guy. Feel the pain and keep fighting for what is right.

cdillon said...

A much as I breathed a sigh of relief with the election of Barack Obama, some of the wind was knocked out of me the next day. With the passage of the cold-hearted, rights-depriving prop. 8 I realized there are still ignorant, selfish people working to fuck up shit that has nothing to do with them.
Why do they want to reduce sweet feelings of love, equality and security?
Do they really believe that Jesus, or any of the 12 men who adored him, would approve such a deprivation?
The courts will soon right the ill intention of prop 8.

JvA said...

Chuck, I am so sorry. I owe you e-mail but I just don't know what to say. I keep thinking how I would feel if the government suddenly told me that me and Arthur's wedding and marriage was no longer valid, and that's something so terrible and difficult to even imagine that it's hard to express my deep sympathy for. How do you say congratulations and sorry at the same time?

My thoughts have been with you every day this week.

Jenn said...

I'm just going to say Congrats.
Someday all of our citizens will be equal in the eyes of the law.

(Until then, have you found Melissa's rant?)

Frances said...

I wondered if you were going to join the crowds that were shown right before the election. I think Christopher sums up the feelings about it well. Ghost wedding on Halloween. It has great possibilities for celebrations in the future. And WTF California???
Frances

chuck b. said...

Thank you, all--very, very, very much.

Pam/Digging said...

Chuck, congratulations to you and Guy. I'm sorry about Prop 8. One day the tide will turn, I'm sure of it.

Blackswamp_Girl said...

First of all, congratulations to you and Guy! I always thought that eloping was such a romantic thing, and I'm very glad that you two made your own day. :)

Secondly, I'm with Christopher C., and until/unless you tell me otherwise, I consider the two of you to be married, too. But I must say that I thought of you first when I saw the stunning news on Prop 8, and my heart aches for you as well. I really hoped that California could do what my own home state and so many others could not, and put an end to this "definition of marriage amendment" bullshit.

Chloe Marguerite said...

Chuck,

Congratulations to you and Guy. That's really, really cool.

The outcome on Prop 8 is absolutely outrageous - and California should be ashamed. However, it's not over yet.....

Chloe M.

Ewa said...

this will pass..
have my apology...
looking forward to you getting back to real yourself and blogging with passion again :)
greetings,
ewa

Wicked Gardener said...

I'm so sorry as well. There is too little love in this world to deny it to anyone. I hope prop 8 gets reversed soon. On a brighter note, I eloped with my husband on Halloween as well, (2006) so you're in good company! Here's to many cool anniversary parties to come.

Annie in Austin said...

I'm so far behind on blog reading - sorry to be so late to this post and to read of your pain.

Although it's the sharing that is the essence, the passing of that legislation was a shock to all fair-minded people.

Congratulations on your marriage, Chuck and Guy - be excellent to each other!

Annie at the Transplantable Rose

Genie said...

It's ridiculous legislation, but I agree with other commenters who congratulate you on the marriage and hold it up as legitimate. Absolutely. And I'm glad to now be a Californian, because it means I can help with the effort to get this vote overturned. It's ridiculous...absolutely ridiculous.

Wishing you both well, and know that there are many who stand in solidarity with you...

lisa said...

Your anniversary is my birthday, so I feel confident that it will work out, and prop h8te will go the way of the dinosaur. (Hopefully sooner than later.) Besides, you're with the man you love, and that's a huge plus.) Congratulations!!

susan harris said...

Ditto all the previous posts and speaking just for myself - Prop 8 SUCKS! But it's exciting to see the pushback, described by Wanda Sykes as "They pissed off the wrong people." I follow Americablog and everything they're doing to punish the funders of this hateful, bigoted campaign.
The tide is totally against them and WITH YOU and Guy. And the tide is changing faster and faster.